By Mark McNease

“The challenge is not to be perfect—it is to be whole.”

—Jane Fonda 

It’s not the thing the emotion attaches to, it’s the emotion.
It’s not the person or event the anger attaches to, it’s the anger.
It’s not the thoughts around which the confusion swirls, it’s the confusion itself.

When I’m consumed by an emotion, even something as simple as anger aimed at another driver on the road, it’s the emotion that generates my state of mind, not the other driver. So many people have a need to be angry, or even enraged, without ever comprehending that the object of their rage is not the issue: it is the rage, and the need for it, that lies at the heart of the experience.

Welcome to Wishful Doing, a practical guide to creating the lives we want to inhabit, one action at time. No supernatural ingredients are required. 

By Mark McNease

“Have patience with all things. But, first of all with yourself.”

            ―Francis de Sales

Observing the current cultural and political climate, I’m reminded of a scene from the westerns once so popular with American moviegoers. A bartender in a grimy, dusty saloon, says to a weary customer, “Name your poison.” The customer asks for whiskey—they all drank whiskey in the movies, with names like Rot Gut and Dead Eye—and the bartender serves him from a bottle on the shelf. The customer throws back a mouthful from a greasy shot glass, grimaces as it burns its way down his throat, then smiles, slaps the glass on the counter and orders another one. That sure felt good.

Today we have many things to choose from besides whiskey as we name our poisons. We have twenty-four hour cable news channels to make sure we’re alarmed, angry and indignant. We have addictions of a breathtaking variety, from sex to nicotine to apps making us feel special with every little balloon bursting on our smartphone screens, while data miners dig further and further into what remains of our privacy. But like that weary cowboy in that filthy saloon, we enjoy the way it feels going down and we order another one.