What does a gay man look like? A lot of people who don’t know gay men, or don’t think they do, might base their reply on a TV sitcom character or some other portrayal prone to stereotype. Even those of us in the gay community have often had fixed ideas about LGBT people and what we look like, or what we think we’re supposed to look like. Photographer Scott Pasfield set out to do something very simple: take pictures of every day gay men in their everyday lives. From Gay in America: In this first-ever photographic survey of gay men in America, stereotypes are laid to rest and an intimate, honest picture of contemporary gay life is revealed through stunning personal portraits and narratives. Photographer Scott Pasfield traveled 54,000 miles across all fifty states over a three-year span gathering stories and documenting the lives of 140 gay men from all walks of life. At turns joyful and somber, reflective and celebratory, each narrative and image is an enlightening look into the variety of gay life in the United States.]]>

If you search ‘lgbt’ (or gay or anything remotely triggering gay) you’ll see a little rainbow on the right-hand end of the search box. That’s so gay – in the best way. From International Business Times: Google has added a U-shaped rainbow to the end of its search bar to mark the Gay and Lesbian pride month. The rainbow will show up whenever a user searches LGBT (Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender) related terms. The six-color rainbow, a symbol of gay pride, is a new addition this year. Google had added a thin bar below the search window with the six colors placed end to end, in the past. Though Google is generally not too keen on a taking a stand for a social issue, gay rights have been an exception.
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A cop in Chicago who was heading home after performing as a clown for a kids’ event was accosted by an armed teenager. The clown won. From the HuffPost: CHICAGO — An off-duty Chicago police officer dressed as a clown for a fundraiser shot and killed a teen who authorities say was trying to rob him. Police say the officer was headed home from a children’s event Friday night when the suspect approached him, asking for money. When the officer said he didn’t have any, police say the teen pulled a gun. After a struggle, the officer grabbed the gun and fired, killing the teen.]]>

Ever polific, Steve Hayes has his newest review out, this time for 1947’s ‘Dark Passage.’]]>

It’s Saturday morning and the clock is ticking down. I absolutely will not believe we have marriage equality in New York until the governor’s signature is on the bill. I want to be proven wrong. I want my cynicism, skepticism and contempt for the likes of Archbishop Dolan to be shed in a moment of shock and awe. Until then I’ll assume the forces of darkness have the upper hand. Frank and I have, however, begun discussions of a guest list for the ceremony . . . just in case.

From the New York Times:

ALBANY — Gov. Andrew M. Cuomo said Friday that he expected same-sex marriage legislation to be approved before the end of the legislative session next week, and indicated that to win passage of the measure he is prepared to yield to Republican concerns for greater protections of religious groups. I am a proponent of marriage equality, and I’m working very hard to make that a reality in New York,” Mr. Cuomo told reporters on Friday as lawmakers prepared to go home for the weekend. “I am also a proponent of religious freedom, and separation of church and state, so these are both very important principles. I don’t see one in competition with the other.” With signs pointing to a vote on the marriage issue in the State Senate next week, there are widespread expectations that it will pass. A number of Republicans are said to prefer that the matter not be allowed to come up for a vote, but 31 of the Senate’s 62 members have expressed support for the measure, including two Republicans. Other Republican lawmakers appear to be seriously considering lending their support if Mr. Cuomo agrees to amend the proposal to give greater protection to religious organizations. ]]>

I imagine one day I won’t pay any attention to father’s day, or mother’s day, although my mother’s been gone for twelve years and it still brings things up for me annually, especially while I have a birth mother still living. I was thinking recently about who taught me to be a man, and it was not my father. He also was one of two – the man who actually fathered me, my birth father, is buried in a small Mississippi cemetery and I never met him. I did visit the grave on my first trip there to reunite with my birth family. I was thirty-five years old. I’d known about them since the age of seventeen but wasn’t emotionally prepared to meet them until much later. I wanted mostly to assure myself, with the bitterness I had at the time, that he was indeed dead. Aside from fathering me, the man had given me nothing nor cared about my well being in any way. I can testify that he’s there, buried beneath a very modest headstone, along a rural road near a tiny chapel. The man who adopted me – Dad – passed away in November 2009. It was with him I had a lifelong love/hate relationship, the love being mostly obligatory both ways. I often had the feeling I was not the son he wanted, and he didn’t do much to counter that. When I think of who my role models were, they were the men I met in my early 20s, the gay men I came to know in Los Angeles, who really taught me how to be an adult. My father had given us alcohol when we were early teenagers. In my case, when I was twelve. It’s all well beyond judgment now, but it was not something a father does who is trying to instruct his son in the ways of either manhood or adulthood. He was hyper-critical, often cruel, and clearly aware of my differences: I think he sensed very early that I was gay, or at least not his idea of masculine, and he would taunt me and ridicule me in sometimes very subtle ways. I cannot honestly say he had any influence on me becoming the man I am today, other than to compel me to achieve and to pursue my own ideas of what constituted a life I wanted. To that end, he did make me more determined to be the things he so disdained: a writer, an open and happy gay man, a dreamer, a wayward child. So on this upcoming Father’s Day, I remember Mac, as he was called. I miss him for whatever reasons I miss him. He was not a bad man, just, like all of us, a limited human being. His limitations had consequences for him and for his family. I also remember on this Father’s Day the men, many of them long dead, who truly taught me to be a man.]]>