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Transition Mentor Wendy Cole: An Introduction (Part I)
I knew Wendy when we both worked at the same place several years ago in New Hope, PA. I often wondered where she went and what she was up to. And now I know! She was generous enough to share her past, present and future with us, and I’m delighted to have her as a guest columnist for this six-part series. – Mark/Editor
I was born transgender! It’s not like people like myself never existed before. We’ve always existed in hiding. It’s one of those things of nature that nothing is ever completely black and white. Nature doesn’t necessarily follow societal norms imposed by man. The hetero societal norms and standards, called “socialization”, begin with our parents, through school and into our adult and work life. Before we’re born, the question family wants to know is, do we wrap it in a pink blanket or do we wrap it in a blue blanket? We’re told certain ways of thinking and behaving. This socialization is generally based on your “sex” assigned at birth. Socialization is certain expectations you need to meet to be perceived as male or female. And it is initially based your physical anatomy at birth. Most of the time, doctors get it right. But “gender”, male or female is between your ears not between your legs. And with me, they got it all wrong! I knew most of the things expected of me from early childhood were wrong for me. But I was without any other options having grown up in the fifties and sixties.
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One Thing or Another: The Back of the Line Looks Better Every Day
One Thing or Another … a lighthearted look at life, aging, and the absurdities of it all.
By Mark McNease
Age has a strange effect on time: the more we have of one, the less we have of the other.
When my mother died twenty-four years ago I told someone that losing our parents meant we were moving closer to the turnstile. Then my father died, and the parents of everyone I knew who was my age or near it. The truth became inescapable that we were next: our siblings, our friends, people we looked up to and people we looked down upon. Everyone, it seems, is destined for the same fate, and it was quickening its pace. Each loss takes us nearer to our own jumping off place, and with the departure of every friend, peer and acquaintance comes the uncomfortable sensation that we really, truly, may be next.
It’s not maudlin to stare at the shortening line and see the rollercoaster coming round the tracks for us. There’s the sense it won’t be long now, and pretty soon—whether it’s a year from now, or ten years, or twenty—I’ll be fastened into the tiny car, have the bar pressed into me and locked for safety, and rocket off into the unknown. It’s a ride we all must take alone. There will be no one seated next to us screaming with delight as we plunge into … wherever it is we go, or don’t go. I’m not personally invested in the next ride, if there is one, or the next. Heaven can definitely wait for me, since I’ve never had any interest in going there. My hope, and belief, is to flicker out, having lived as bravely and as brightly as I could. Beyond that, just drop me back into the ocean, it’s fine with me.
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Audio Sample: ‘Fatal Mistake: A Harry Hell Novella’ Chapters 1 – 4
Spring has sprung into action with something brand new. Fatal Mistake: A Harry Hell Novella just released, and I’m offering four chapters for your listening pleasure.
This is not intended as an audiobook and no professional narrators were harmed in the making of this clip.
Available everywhere! Click here for the LinkTree to select retailers
The year is closer than you think. The world has collapsed under the weight of its own insatiable needs, leaving shattered cities where those who still have anything fight to keep it that way, and those who don’t are a constant threat. It’s a danger that must be contained through a tightly controlled society where everyone is observed and everything is kept in its place.
Harry Hellerman and his twin brother, Elliot, enter this world three minutes apart. By the time they’re teenagers, they’ve been surrendered to Control to be molded into the perfect assassins. A boy named Harry Hellerman enters, and a man named Harry Hell emerges: a killing machine of the highest order.Harry’s life takes a drastic turn when he finds himself teamed with a man named Raul, who becomes his partner in every way. Enter the lethal, dreaded Nectar, queen of the Ruins and slayer of hopes and dreams. Even Harry had them once, but no more. His life soon revolves around one mission only: to take his revenge against Nectar, and die someday with Raul’s name still on his lips. It was all he had left to live for.
Enter Eastward, and the Ruins, and the Slopes beyond them. Make your way to the river’s edge, misted in darkness, where many have tried to escape but none have ever returned. ‘Fatal Mistake’ begins the journey of a man whose heart had not always been stone. Will it beat again, or will he use it to sink his enemy down, down, down, straight to hell?
Two-time Emmy winner and Mystery Writers of America-NY board member Mark McNease takes us on a journey unlike anything he’s written before.
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Savvy Senior: How to Find Affordable Internet Services?
By Jim Miller
Dear Savvy Senior,
I was recently notified that the Affordable Connectivity Program, which subsidizes my monthly internet bill, is about to end. What are my options for finding affordable home internet services now? I’m 71 years old and live primarily on my Social Security benefits.
Barely Getting By
Dear Barely,
It’s unfortunate, but without additional funding from Congress, the Affordable Connectivity Program (ACP) is winding down and will end in mid-May.
For those that aren’t familiar with this program, the ACP is a government benefit that has provided millions of financially eligible households with a discount of up to $30 per month toward their home internet service, or up to $75 per month for households on qualifying Tribal lands.
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Savvy Senior’s Senior Newswire May 6
Included in this week’s Senior Newswire, brought to you by Savvy Senior
• Assistive Devices and Senior Gadgets
• Caregiving and Support Services
• Computer and Internet
• Employment
• End of Life Issues
• Finances and Retirement
• Grandparenting and Intergenerational Family
• Government Resources and Assistance
• Health Resources
• Housing, Long Term Care and Universal Design
• Insurance
• Legal Issues and Resources
• Leisure, Learning and Personal Growth
• Medicaid, Medicare, and Social Security
• Older Drivers and Transportation
• Relationships and Online Dating -
The Twist Podcast #263: Guest Co-Host Susie Hobson Joins Rick Live from Madison, WI!
Big thanks to Susie Hobson, longtime friend of Rick’s and the show’s, for filling in with co-host duties while Mark keeps his sprained ankle elevated on the couch. Susie’s a natural at the mic, and brings her own brand of rise and shine to the recording booth – live from Madison! Fasten your headphones for an engrossing and entertaining chat between two old friends … sound familiar?
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One Thing or Another Podcast #69: A Conversation with Dane County Commissioner, Activist, Podcaster, and Supernova Rick Rose
It doesn’t get any more comfortable than interviewing my friend and longtime collaborator Rick Rose. Rick is the co-host of our weekly Twist Podcast. He’s a Dane County (WI) commissioner, man-about-town in Madison, activist, mentor, and so much more. We talk about life in what was once called retirement, but can only be described as our most active and creative years yet! Fasten your headphones for this one.
COMING UP ON THE PODCAST:
Mark Goldstein, host of the ‘Where Do Gays Retires?’ podcast
Nev March, author and board president for the Mystery Writers of America-NY Chapter
Ronni Sanlo and Kelly Ward, hosts of the LGBTQ History Alive podcastComments, suggestions, encouragement welcome! We’re listening.
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Silver Sage Sisters Blog Shares Insights and Lived Experiences from Older Women
I’ve gotten to know Mary Ann, two of the bloggers at Silver Sage Sisters, through her brother Tim and his husband Ron. They’ve become dear friends with me and Frank. We often go to the theater together at Lambertville’s Music Mountain Theatre, and then head out for dinner. We’ve also been graciously invited to Ron and Tim’s house in New Hope for special feasts, and the lovely Mary Ann is always there. Enjoy their blog! Soak up some wisdom, by women for women about women.
“Silver Sage Sisters are friends near or in retirement who have been sharing the wisdom of their experiences with each other. Glimmers of hope, ideas, learnings and failures are components of each of our lives. Freely and openly, we share our insights and experiences with other women so each and all of us know we are never alone.”
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2-Hour Online Guided Autobiography Introductory Workshops May 29 and June 3
And we’re off! I’ll be holding two 2-hour online Guided Autobiography introductory workshops on Wednesday, May 29, from 2:00 – 4:00 p.m. eastern and Monday, June 3, from 10:00 a.m. – 12:00 p.m. eastern (for the morning people!)
THEY’RE FREE! My introductory workshops are always complimentary.
Register here for Wednesday, May 29
Register here for Monday, June 3
What is Guided Autobiography? Let’s begin with its description from the Guided Autobiography website:
“Guided Autobiography (GAB) has been researched and developed by Dr. James Birren over the past 40 years as a method for helping people document their life stories. Guided by a trained instructor, participants are led through themes and priming questions that evoke memories of events once known but filed away and seemingly forgotten. Each participant writes a two-page story on a particular theme each week, brings the story to class and reads it to a small group of receptive classmates. Writing and sharing life stories with others is an ideal way to find new meaning in life and to put life events into perspective. While connecting with one another on their journeys of self-discovery, participants feel enlivened by the group experience and gain a greater appreciation of their own lives and of the lives of others. GAB can be a powerful catalyst for improved self-esteem, self-confidence and communication within communities and within families.”
Read more about Guided Autobiography here.
These workshops are limited to 6 people*, so RSVP and grab your spot now.
*I’ll add additional online workshops as each one fills up. First come/first reserved. – Mark
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The Twist Podcast #262: Big Wheels for Big Kids, ‘Black River Orchard,’ and Rick Shows Up on the ‘Where Do Gays Retire?’ Podcast
Join co-hosts Mark McNease and Rick Rose as we talk apples and Big Wheels, chaplains coming to a school near you, Rick’s guest turn on the ‘Where Do Gays Retire?’ podcast, and the Book Beat recommends ‘Black River Orchard’ for some serious scares.
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One Thing or Another Podcast #68: A Conversation with Steve Dolainski, Guided Autobiography Instructor
It’s a real treat to talk to Steve Dolainski, my friend of many years now, who introduced me to my new path as a workshop and class facilitator! I met Steve over a decade ago. We co-edited and published an anthology of LGBTQ writers over 50, including several who have become my friends. Outer Voices Inner Lives was a Lambda Literary Award finalist for anthology, and includes a foreword by the late, great, Patricia Nell Warren.
Fast forward ten years, and I finally had the pleasure of meeting Steve in person on a trip to California. He told me he’d become a certified Guided Autobiography instructor and was conducting classes with the LGBTQ Center in L.A. I was hooked! I’m certified myself now too, and looking forward to my third act (as Jane Fonda calls life after 65), offering workshops and classes in Guided Autobiography and fiction writing (YourWritePath.com). Listen to this short interview with Steve where he talks about GAB (as we call it), making new roads to travel, and contemplating the ones we’ve already come on!
COMING UP ON THE PODCAST:
Rick Rose, Dane County Commissioner (Madison, WI), activist, podcast co-host
Mark Goldstein, host of the ‘Where Do Gays Retires?’ podcast
Nev March, author and board president for the Mystery Writers of America-NY Chapter
Ronni Sanlo and Kelly Ward, hosts of the LGBTQ History Alive podcastComments, suggestions, encouragement welcome! We’re listening.
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Podcast Pick: ‘Going Hollywood’ with Brad Shreve and Tony Maietta Takes a Look at Classic TV and Film
Talk about engaging conversation! The new podcast, Going Hollywood, is a treat for the ear, featuring co-hosts Brad Shreve and Tony Maietta. Brad is an old hand at podcasting (Queer We Are, and Queer Writers of Crime, to name two of them), and Tony Maietta is widely regarded as a top film historian. I was hooked from the minute they started talking. This is hot and fresh, and ripe for faving. Fasten your headphones!
Conversations between esteemed film historian, Tony Maietta, and a passionate movie buff, Brad Shreve, about cinema and television from Hollywood’s Golden Age to contemporary hits. Whose side will you be on? Listen as Tony and Brad discuss—and sometimes disagree on—their favorite films and TV shows. They’ll take you behind the scenes of Hollywood as they explore storytelling, casting, characters, and more.
Current Episodes
When Hepburn Met Capote: The Enduring Appeal of “Breakfast at Tiffany’s”
One More Look: Analyzing the legacy of “A Star Is Born”
Howard Bannister’s Rocks: Celebrating “What’s Up, Doc?” and “Bringing Up Baby