One Thing or Another: An Economy to Die For

By Mark McNease

It’s always One Thing or Another… a lighthearted look at aging, life, and the absurdities of it all.

Have a grandparent to spare? Now’s your chance to volunteer one in sacrifice to the economy. All positions available!

Who needs old people, really? What do they do besides eat, talk about how hard it is to get old, drive RVs across the country, and bother people with questions about the simplest techie things? Think of all the good use they could be put to as frontline workers in the apocalypse.

That’s the thinking in certain conservative circles these days. The Lieutenant Governor of Texas, Dan Patrick, started the doomsday ball rolling when he said he’d be willing to work to save the economy for his grandchildren. I wasn’t aware he hadn’t worked before, or that he wasn’t getting paid while he sat around saying these things, but that’s another matter. The idea caught fire, especially among wealthy pundits and Republicans who have never been, and will never be, essential workers … like grocery store clerks, nurses, police officers, and baristas. Something tells me they know they won’t actually have to risk their lives for their grandchildren, but it sounds heroic. Things that sound heroic but have no chance of happening are favorites with men who fancy themselves soldiers, having avoided any real wars. It’s cool to say you’ll take a bullet, especially for future generations, when the gun’s empty.

As for me, I really do work in a grocery store. We’ve taken strident measures to try and contain any virus moving silently through the store, catching rides on customers and us. I doubt the Dan Patricks of the world would ever spend ten minutes doing what I do, or what most of the associates in a grocery store do. It’s very easy to offer your life in exchange for your grandchildren’s future when you know you’re never going to have to do it. Bluster wins the day among the foolhardy and the easily deceived. But when any of these men or women get serious about it … we’re hiring.

Mark McNease is the author of nine novels, two short story collections and miscellaneous fiction. He’s the editor of LGBTSr.com, “where age is embraced and life is celebrated.” He was the co-creator of the Emmy and Telly winning children’s program Into the Outdoors, and he currently hosts the One Thing or Another Podcast.